Is it really almost over?

I am in a really reflective mood right now as I am by myself in my dorm room, packing up my stuff and listening to some calming music. As I look around at my blank walls and boxes and bags piling up, I'm starting to realize that I'm not going to live here in two and a half more days. Ever. I'm leaving school for a long summer. I'm not sure I'm ready to post my "end of the school year reflection" just yet but I wanted to write something.

What a great semester. What an amazing year. I can't find a place to even start without having to write for hours. So many changes, so many new experiences, new people, new problems, new memories. I can truly say at this very moment in time, I am so very happy and content. I don't know what tomorrow will be like and I know it hasn't been this wonderful in the past either...but at this very moment, I am happy. Happy to be living, happy to be breathing, happy to be in love. God has blessed me in a multitude of ways, some of which I am sure I have not even noticed yet. 

I'm not ready for this semester to be over. I am certainly grateful that classes ended today and my work load is diminishing greatly. Only three "finals" left...of which one is a test and presentation, one is a "skit," and the other is in-class essays. So I'm pretty happy with how finals week has turned out. But despite that, I don't really know how to handle this kind of an end to a school year. It's not something I've had practice in, really. In high school, when I graduated, saying goodbye was sad, of course, but those people still live there and will be there this summer...But at college, most of those people don't live near you or if they are seniors...who knows when you'll see them again, if you do. I can't bear the idea of saying goodbye to Darnelle, the light of my life...one of my best friends. But I think the only comfort I can gain from this is knowing that our friendship means more and that we WILL see each other again and we will remain friends. Also, work and distance is going to make seeing my friends difficult...and this time it's not just five weeks...it's four months. Summer starts in May, not June. It's just really strange and I'm not sure how to handle it. 

It's kind of disappointing because the weather is finally starting to get really nice and there's so much to do on campus on a beautiful day. I love walking around the lake with Aaron and just getting away. Even though it's right on campus, when you get to that other side...it's like you're in your own world, escaping reality. Today I went canoeing for the first time on the lake. It was a blast. When I'm home, who am I going to experience the weather with when the kiddies are still at school and there's work to be done?

Anyway, like I said, my "end of the year reflection" will come soon enough, but I'm not quite ready for that. I feel like it's like every time I've attempted to write this entire year. There's too much to say. I don't know how to put it all into words. But hopefully I'll be able to do that.

Here's to the best year of my life.