Sophomore Slump

It’s been about a million and one years since I’ve blogged and the post prior was me ranting about studying (Thanks Tammy, by the way, for the great advice!). So a LOT has happened and, as usual, I am mad at myself for not documenting it. Alas, I shall try my best now.

I curled up in bed typing this (of course, typing it on Pages first since Westminster does not have wireless internet and it is a pain to stretch the cord from my desk to my bed....) since I have the chance to take a break. Can I just say the term “Sophomore slump” has come up once again? I used it four years ago to describe 10th grade and it seems pretty applicable now as well. It’s much different though, of course. I can’t say that this semester is going all that well. It’s definitely not bad--there are some great times--but it’s not awesome either. I think it’s been a real learning experience thus far, and sometimes that’s not enjoyable, but I hope it will be worth it in the end. Actually, I’m confident it will. It seems like the rest of my peers have been experiencing this as well. And we all relied on the fact that everyone else says sophomore year is the worst and it gets better. So I’ve been clinging to that notion that it’s all good once I get past this year--if I can just get by a little longer, it will pay off. But my roommate brought up an interesting point. She had been talking to a friend from home who is also a sophomore at another school and she was discussing how this year has been going (poorly) and he replied that having that idea that it gets better NEXT year or LATER or another time isn’t the right way to live. Instead of accepting that it’s going to be a drag or that it’s going to be difficult, make the change that makes it better. Of course, that is easier said than done and it takes more than just a change within one’s attitude to make it all “better,” but it is definitely a much more optimistic and intelligent way of looking at things. It’s going to take some time, but I hope I carry on that outlook as opposed to my current take.

One of my last real posts was about band camp. I can’t believe how long ago that was. I feel so different from that time and place, yet I also feel stagnant in my disposition as a “slumpy sophomore.” (That’s attractive.) It’s weird. Band has been interesting this season. I have really enjoyed it, particularly being an officer and a year older and all of the fun it brings, but I certainly was over marching band long before I should have. Every year, you reach a certain point when you’re ready to move on from something. For marching band, that usually occurs three quarters of the way into the season. This year, however, it occurred right around the first couple of games. It’s rather sad, considering that leads to poor attitudes about commitments during games and festivals, but at least I am not dreading it now. Only the weather makes me miserable. One more game to go next weekend and it is Senior Recognition. I can’t believe one year ago, we were watching Darnelle getting recognized. So sad. Now it’s Nick’s turn...wahh..It’s going to be so so weird without him. I miss Darnelle terribly...I wish she would come visit!! But anyway, overall I’m happy with how the season went, but I am definitely ready for it to end.

I’ve become even more involved on campus this semester, if you can believe that is even possible. As far as Kappa Delta goes, I’ve been doing a lot. I became the sophomore member of Standards board and accepted the appointed office of Historian. I am also on the Recruitment and Girl Scout committees. Currently, we are undergoing the process of electing a new council and I am applying for VP of Membership (aka recruitment) and VP of Membership Education. I have to turn in my application by tomorrow at midnight and will interview sometime next week. Should be interesting! If I don’t make council, I was nominated to attend PELC (Presidents and Emerging Leaders Conference) at KD Headquarters in January! So either way, I am pleased.

In addition to Kappa Delta, I am in Wind Ensemble now (by luck and default, to be honest, as I didn’t have to audition) and that is fun. We have a concert on Friday. Anddd I auditioned for Dance Theater and I am in Ali’s Kickline number to Dreamgirls “One Night Only.” I think I made it mostly by default, as well, but I’ve been enjoying it so far. It’s definitely something new.

I have to make a decision incredibly soon about auditioning for Chapel Drama or not this year. The auditions are tomorrow or Thursday. They are doing “Honk!” this year. I have been making a pros and cons list and I’m still unsure. The pros: I love musicals, singing, and dancing, I would get to be with Alyssa when she comes back from London, and I have been doing shows for 4 years now. The cons: I don’t want to kill myself by adding something else to my schedule. It’s a lot to think about and I don’t want to regret it...but I have to sacrifice something. One part of me says why not since I only live once and even if it’s crazy busy, I’ll get to do it and have fun. The other part says to me it’s not worth compromising my attitude or my free time or my academics for a show. I don’t know! At this point, it looks like I’m not auditioning, especially considering I don’t even know what I would sing. I just don’t remember what it’s like not to be in a musical at some point of the year. I will probably regret it when I go see the show and realize I could have been up on that stage and to have those memories with my castmates, but I have to give somewhere. If there’s something I’ve learned in college, it’s that as much as I want to do everything, I can’t. I have to give up some things in order to do others, even if I love them. Like Gospel Choir, for example. I love it and if I had the will power, I could make rehearsals, but I just have too much going on and it’s been placed at the bottom of the list. In a way, it’s really sad since that’s a big way for me to worship, but I think it will all work out in the end. Another thing that I feel sophomore year is all about is the feeling that everything has become a chore--an obligation, a requirement, a time commitment. Things that are supposed to be fun (and you signed up for with that intention) are just one more thing to add to the schedule. That’s not right at all. I’ve been trying to realize that and perhaps that is why I am not signing up for Honk! this year. I don’t want things I really enjoy to turn into something I resent and regret. Ah so contradictory.

I’ve been tutoring at the Walker House, in the Southside of New Castle. That has been an interesting experience for me. Because I am the only tutor that comes on Fridays and that is their “fun” day, I act more like a babysitter than a tutor. It’s frustrating for me because I chose Walker House to work with the older students, and yet I am babysitting the youngest children of the group. But I’ve learned that this whole program is bigger than me. It may be a requirement I am doing for school, but they need our help. They need my help on Fridays. They could not run smoothly and successfully if I wasn’t keeping watch of those kids while the others were learning. God has created this safe environment for them to come after school, where they can feel loved and cared for, and I am just a part of that. It doesn’t matter that I’m not getting the exposure to older students... it matters, but not in this case. What matters is that I help them. It gets annoying and sometimes I wish things were different, but I just remember that and I do it for the kids and for the adults there. I don’t get boastful of this and feel all high and mighty; in fact, it humbles me. I am so blessed with family, friends, school, a safe and comfortable home and environment, and the endless possibilities for learning and growing. Going to the Walker House reminds me of that.

I had a really fantastic weekend. On Friday, Aaron and I went to the outlets and to Thiel to visit his sister Sarah. That was lots of fun as always! Saturday, we had made plans to go to the zoo! It was SOOOO much fun! It was chilly and rainy so there weren’t many people there and the animals were out and moving around. We had a blast. Afterwards, we went to my house and surprised my family. We were able to relax and eat dinner with them. We traversed all over Butler to find Aaron a Halloween costume (and a little girl was saying in the next aisle “No one would wait until now to buy a costume!” hahahaa) and eventually made it back to school. It was an interesting night, but a very good one. All in all, a wonderful weekend and I’m really thankful for it.

Anyway, I am hoping to take a nap before my next class as well as get some work done. So byeeeeeeee.

I don't think I can study properly.

It's amazing to realize how much things have changed in the past decade, especially with studying. I am writing because I wanted to take a break from studying for my Ed Psych midterm tomorrow. I couldn't help myself from logging onto this website because the computer is right in front of me (even though I actually made it into the library...I'm still not apart from technology). I could barely concentrate on the homemade study guide I made on my laptop (yep, it's an integral part of studying for me), and I kept looking at my phone for text messages and continuously logging in to see if my email worked (which, by the way, doesn't, because Westminster email/internet=sucky). It's absolutely pathetic. I'm not trying to say I can't be a good studier because I can. There are times when I can get sucked into the material and I am not distracted by anything...but how often is that? As someone who doesn't study or hasn't studied much, I find it difficult when I do. I think study skills range for everyone and for me, it often involves typing up my own study guide on the computer or rewriting it out on paper and looking over it. The process of writing/typing it out is where I study the most. It's hard to concentrate on the words once their printed out and I'm just looking at it unless I'm asking a friend questions or vice versa. This is my problem currently, as I am just staring at my beautifully highlighted (another distraction/procrastination) study guide. I'm watching other people in the lab doing their work and wondering what they are going through or what they are thinking about. I just can't believe how much my mind is doing at this very moment. This age of multitasking is absolutely ridiculous sometimes. I pride myself on being a very good multitasker and it's proven to be extremely helpful in my life. But sometimes I wonder what the detrimental effects society and the media and technology are for our generation, and for myself. Though I get by pretty darn well and I love technology, I wonder what life would be like if it were a lot simpler...Fewer distractions, fewer worries, less stress, less grief. Now that I reread this and I think about it, I really believe I need a break. I am typing rather quickly and I can tell that my thoughts are just itching to spill out. Fall break is just around the corner, but to get there, I know I have to face this ridiculously busy Homecoming weekend and one more week after that. I just need to endure. Okay, well I will probably delete this later. Back to "studying."

I am not feeling the creative juices today to come up with a title!

So I thought I'd update about this past week.

By now I've had all of my various classes. I mentioned about Math Perspectives and Jane Austen already. But I am also taking Ed Psych, which is pretty fun because I have a really good class. My professor also starts out with an ice breaker every class, which is cool because we can keep track of them and use them in our own classrooms. I will have to do some observations (probably over Fall break) and another practicum experience. I think I would like to tutor this semester at the Walker House in New Castle, so we will see how that goes. I am also taking Bio 101 this semester. It's not going to be too bad, but I will probably just find it more of a waste of my time, especially considering the three hour labs we have on Wednesdays in addition to class three days a week. But once I complete this semester, all of my IP's (Intellectual Perspectives required at WC) will be completed so I can focus on my major and minor. I could potentially pick up another minor too, if I wish. So we'll see. Not sure exactly yet. But I'm also in symphonic band, of course, which is marching band right now. Which leads me to my next bit of news...

I decided once again NOT to try out for Wind Ensemble, mostly because I get very intimidated by such a short period of time to learn/practice the audition piece, I am terrified because I don't have any teaching assistance to help me beforehand (like in HS, where you ran the piece with the entire band, at least a few times before an audition), and I was just busy with everything else going on. So auditions came and went, 8 clarinets trying out and filling up the 8 slots. As luck would have it, one clarinet has dropped out for some reason, leaving an opening. Dr. Greig asked Ben if he wanted to fill it again, but he is overbooked this semester. So that left me. And I can fit it in my schedule so I took it! I am also hoping to get into Wind Ensemble next year because the group is going to Scotland! (I know. ds;gjalsdgjs;adgj) So I hope this year helps me improve so that when I actually...you know, try out, I can hopefully make it. But now that gives me another class that meets three days a week...yikes.

In addition to joining Wind Ensemble, I've been getting involved in new things. At our first KD meeting, we needed a sophomore for Standards board (ask if you want to know more about it), so that ended up being me....cool. And then I was asked if I would like to be an appointed officer as Historian. That would mean I would make scrapbooks, send monthly reports to nationals about what the sisterhood is up to, not just with KD events and activities. So I think that would be pretty cool, so I accepted. And I guess I'm part of recruitment committee now? I'm not really sure, I just went to a planning meeting and then my name got put on the list...oops. But that's fun too. I figure that this semester I don't have such a ridiculous schedule (except on Wednesdays...and it's probably a lot worse than I think once I continue to get more work) so why not get involved in things that are going to benefit me? My extracurriculars are going to be Gospel Choir and Seekers and MAYBE chapel drama...I don't know. Lambda Sigma and Kappa Delta Pi won't take up too much of my time. Ah, so much. :) I love it. Hopefully I won't be hating myself though...

Jane Austen is definitely a killer. Reading Northanger Abbey and preparing a presentation in a week was a challenge. I even paced myself and read every single day, but it was stressful knowing I had lots of pages to go yesterday. But I made it through! Only five more of her works to go? I really like that class though. It makes me happy to enjoy English classes because it reassures me that I am supposed to be an English teacher. I think I've found that my focus is going a lot more to my future career this semester, not that it didn't my freshman year, but more so it seems. I feel more confident than I used to. I still need to gain experience with middle and high school students though. It'll come though.

This past weekend was kind of a letdown overall, to be honest. Friday night was the Gateway Clipper dance and I loved getting dressed up all pretty and Aaron looked amazingly handsome. Once we got on the boat (after enduring ANNOYING girls, probably drunk, singing christmas tunes and yelling at our bus driver), we found that we weren't in much of a dancing mood. This is extremely surprising for both me and Aaron, as we used to take full advantage of our past dances. But I think we just chalked it up to the ridiculousness of the past week. We enjoyed watching the city go by, but it was freezing even with a sweater. Possibly the biggest reason why we didn't enjoy ourselves as much was because the music was awful. I can usually tolerate bad songs, but only when they throw in some good ones to keep me going. This DJ did not at all. So that was depressing. But what can you do? We ended up not getting home until 4 AM and then had to get up early the next day. Aaron and I watched his sister run in her cross country meet at 10 AM and then got ready for our first football game. As most of the band had gone on the boat, everyone was just dead and we also hadn't practiced much so the game was destined to be a fail. The show went surprisingly OKAY and it wasn't a disaster, but it could've been so much better. The game itself was so boring and obviously we lost. It was just really crappy to have to sit there for the second half...but we made it through. Afterwards, I fell asleep.

The evening was just as ehh as the rest of the weekend. I went to my mixer, which was just okay and was going to go out, but cautioned not to because of how crazy it was going to be, ended up having to read Northanger Abbey in my bed on Saturday night. Woo. Oh well, whatever. I woke up for church on Sunday morning and then went to brunch. After lots of homework, I had dinner and then the KD meeting I mentioned previously. So yay. I hope that this coming weekend is more fun.

Anyway, I'm off for now! Cross your fingers that I don't get the swine flu...our first case has cropped up!

And so it begins again!

I finally have a little breathing room today so I decided I needed to update about the past two weeks. It's so crazy that in such a short span of time I've finished working, come back to Westminster, gone through band camp, packed my life away into boxes and hung it up in a new room, made new friends, connected with old friends, gone home for the day, played a new board game, danced, slept in, and so much more. Needless to say, it's good to be back.

Where to begin? So much to say. I finished up my last week at Playcamp on a great note. I loveee my kids and my coworkers. It was a very bittersweet end to the summer. I was excited about what was to come, but I was also sad to leave everyone, especially when I knew there was still a week left of camp that I was going to miss. But alas, I was free! I spent the next couple of days packing and preparing for the craziness that was ahead.

On Tuesday, the 18th, I left for Westminster two days prior to band camp. On one of the hottest days of the summer, my family and I dragged all of my crap up to the 3rd floor of Ferg...only to find that I did not have bathroom stalls or shower curtains. LOVELY. That problem has eventually fixed itself, but I took two showers without curtains and had to use other bathrooms on other floors for about a week. But anyway, I wasn't feeling too great about Ferg, but currently I am pretty happy about it. After settling in a bit, I joined the other band officers down in the music department and Dr. Greig took us all out to dinner at Lanigan's, an Irish pub and eatery. That was a ton of fun. It made me feel so great to be back. The next day, we woke up bright and early and spent the day organizing, planning, and setting up for the next day. We also picked up a golf cart that we got to use for band camp!!! It was sooo awesome. Hahaha.

Anyway, the next day was band camp!! Band camp is one of those things, at least at Westminster, where you are completely excited because it's awesome, but you also have to take a step back, breathe a few deep breaths, and then dive in. It's absolutely exhausting, both physically and mentally, and it takes a lot of will power, but it's also really rewarding and fun. We met all of the new clarinets and realized just how AMAZING the section was going to be. The week was great. The drill looks really nice, the music is getting better each practice, and we had a really great time. Mandatory fun nights were all successful! I really enjoyed my experience as an officer...getting to know Dr. Greig has been extremely valuable and fun. The other officers were a blast to work with and I loved having some leadership and responsibility.

(Okay, so I wrote that yesterday and now I have another chance to continue writing...) Once band camp ended last Thursday, Fresh Start began, meaning Aaron and I had a weekend to ourselves to relax and hang out before everyone else arrived and classes started. On Friday, we slept in and took a little road trip back to my house to drop off some things and pick up a few items I had forgotten. My parents took us out to dinner and then we went to Target before relaxing a bit and making the trip back to WC. That evening, we played the most amazing game with Ali, Derek, Alyssa, and Milt. It's called the Game of Things and it's like a cross between Apples to Apples and Balderdash. I loveeee it. That was awesome. The next day, after sleeping in, Aaron and I went to Marks Music, Sheetz, a toystore, and then to Thiel to see his sister's new apartment. We had a really good time. It was great to see Sarah too. After a much needed nap, we went to the J.D. Eicher and the Goodnights concert on campus, which is always wonderful. I was happy to see my freshmen bandies enjoying themselves. Finally, we took a late night run to Walmart and crashed. Sunday morning, I accidently didn't get up until noon (oops). Aaron and I went to lunch, played N64, ate dinner, and took a nap. I had my first official hall meeting for the year and then we joined the freshmen at the Reggae dance. It was a good time. I tried to get a lot of things accomplished yesterday (Monday) and still ended up finding myself with nothing to do. Hahaha oh Westminster. It was such a great weekend though and VERY much needed after such a ridiculously crazy week.

Today was the start of classes! I always get that nervous/anxious/excited feeling before classes begin and this year was no different. I don't think I had as much time to comprehend or realize what was about to start, however. Or maybe I just didn't really worry so much. Who knows. I woke up at the dreaded hour of 6:30 AM (this will soon change) and got ready for my 7:40 Math Perspectives II class. It ended up going really well. I like my professor and it wasn't too painful. We went the entire hour and half though and I went straight to my Jane Austen class. I think I am going to loveeee this class, except it's going to be a ton of work. I already have to read Northanger Abbey and do a report/presentation for next week. Yikes. But my professor is so passionate about Jane Austen so that just makes things that much more exciting and enjoyable. Later on today I have my Ed Psych class, so that should be interesting. I hope it goes well. I know I will have to do another practicum experience, so that is both nerve-wracking and exciting. Tomorrow I luck out and don't have class until 10:30 (on MWF's), but it's Bio 101, so ew. And I have a lab. And band rehearsal...that's going to be a slight disaster, considering it's our only practice before our first game on Saturday! But yay!

This weekend is going to be awesome also because the Gateway Clipper Dance is on Friday! I can't WAIT. Ahh, it's so wonderful to be back. My goals this semester are to spend more time with new people, work really hard in my classes, and participate in things that are really going to benefit me and my future career. So, cross my fingers and hope that it all goes well!

Things are winding down

I guess I didn't realize when I last posted that I would be leaving for school in exactly one month. Now it's down to nine days before I move myself into Ferg and start my second year of WC band camp. And I am SO EXCITED.

I feel like a lot of things have happened since I last wrote. I hung out with some friends, worked of course, oh, and turned 19 finally. My birthday was interesting. Aaron came the day before and celebrated with me. We had a fun time together, even though we didn't end up making it to Station Square for dinner. I was just happy that he was with me. On my actual birthday, I went to church and then family came over for a late lunch and dessert. It was pretty fun, but nothing too extraordinary. I was able to go out to dinner with Amy, Karen, and Megan at Applebees though and that was a good time. Amy and I got sung to (free dessertttt). Afterwards, all of us headed to the church to say hi to Brian, but that was kind of an epic fail. Alas, I became a year older. I am happy to say that I did not get my wisdom teeth out, go to Cedar Point, or get hit in the head with a frisbee this year. Woo!

Hmm...I really can't remember what else I've been up to. Aaron's visited a couple times and I've gone out to Agawam, which is always a highlight. :) I finally met up with Alyssa at Panera and we talked forever...so awesome. I also hung out with Katelyn and Jill one night at Starbucks, which was a lot of fun. I hadn't seen Katelyn since last fall and Jill since Christmas break so it was so nice to catch up. Ummm other than that, I guess just work. As I've mentioned before, I really love work. There's been so much drama recently, but it's all fun. We unfortunately had a big injury this past week, but luckily our little Katie will be alright! I have one week left and while I am really pumped, I am reallllly going to miss these kids. I have been so fortunate and blessed to have this job and it is going to be sad when I have to say goodbye. It's also hard to know that these kids probably won't remember me after a certain amount of time. But I hope that I've had some sort of effect on them, whether they remember or not :) Aww playcamp.

I've been packing a lot this weekend. My dining room is covered with all of my crap and while the pile is growing and growing, I am not done yet! I hope that packing now will prevent me from becoming stressed out later this week, even though I know the minor freaking out is inevitable. It's so weird to think about how I felt a year ago about leaving for school...scared, excited, nervous, uncomfortable but accepting, ready for something new. And now I feel extremely excited and anxious and just a little bit strange just because I've grown so accustomed to this summer routine and now it's all going to be different...but that's definitely good. It's also really crazy that I am moving in on the 18th and yet classes don't start until September 1st. Not that I'm complaining...I am not quite ready for the studying and homeworking and what not yet. Because I am a band officer this year, I am moving in early (two days before band camp) so I'll be able to get settled in and ready for my SIXTH year of marching....ahhh. That's kind of ridiculous hahahaha. It's things like band camp/marching band that I know are really awesome and fun, but I have to take a deep breath beforehand because I know how much work, time, and effort it takes. But it's so great.

You know, overall, I'm pretty pleased with this summer. It's weird for me to admit that, since I didn't do all that much, but I'm okay with that. I had fun for the most part and I did everything right with jobs and making money and also spending time with Aaron. I do wish I spent more time with friends, but I've had fun and it's not quite over yet :) I'm going to do my best to make the most of this week and enjoy it. I hope I'll be able to write an update soon once I get back to school...cross my fingers. I regret not making the time last year, but it's so damn hard! Let's see how it goes this year!

Stickers, Half-Blood Princes, and Road trips

Wow! What a week. I am so exhausted from this week, but it was definitely a good one.

On Monday evening, Amy came over and we wrote letters and put together care packages for Karen and Megan at camp. That sounds innocent enough, right? Well, let's just say we went a litttttle bit overboard. And by a little, I mean A LOT. I brought out all the stickers I've had since fifth grade (Lisa Frank, those round stickers you got in machines at the grocery store that say like "Princess" and other stupid sayings, scratch and sniff, Britney Spears, and other random things) and we printed out pictures to put all over the boxes, insides and out. It was so much fun. We wrote letters to them and Leila and also Harry Potter valentines to Joel hahahaha. That ended up being a success! Good times.

Aaron came to Hampton on Tuesday evening on his night off! That is always such a great time. We ate dinner with the fam and then headed out to get a red box movie and we ended up at Ross Park Mall. I came up with this shopping game and we played it: We set a price limit and a time limit (well the mall kind of decided that, as it closed at nine) and went off in our own directions in search of an outfit for each other! It was a ton of fun and actually a lot more difficult than you can imagine. I probably had it easier than Aaron though, considering guy's clothes are so much easier to put together (They only have like a handful of different styles of things to choose from hahaa...). Anyway, I ended up getting him a bright blue polo and plaid shorts and then just because I got him a button up shirt. He got me a really pretty flowery top with a blue cami underneath and then this jean skirt, but that part didn't fit me. So we will have an excuse to go shopping again...yesss haha. But if you're ever bored at the mall, it's a fun game to play. We spent the rest of the evening watching the movie and hanging out.

Wednesday was a tiring day, but it was Harry Potter 6 day! After work, I got ready as fast as I could and Amy and I ventured out to the Mills to see Half- Blood Prince. I really liked it! They did change some things and I do think some of it was a little questionable (Burrow scene?), but I actually didn't mind for once. Normally, I raise all hell about changes in the movie, but it was well done. AND they finally got the humor from the books to come across! I laughed so much. I was really pleased and entertained all throughout. Afterwards, I realized I left the lights on my car (Grrrrrrrr.) sooo I had to have my dad come and jump my car. Annoying. But I finally got home and to bed.

On Thursday, Beth and I decided to trade shifts and see how it went. I worked from 8:30-4:30 and it was great. I enjoyed that much more than mine. It's amazing the difference one hour makes. I don't know if that will be a permanent change or anything, but it was good. Work is always fun, albeit exhausting. I really enjoy it though. There has been some drama this past week with staff, but that's to be expected. This Thursday, past staff members (that ended on a bad note with playcamp) came to the pool and caused a few problems. Mind you, these people are in their 20's and they are all there to get a rise out of everyone? The kids were all flipping out, excited to see them and not listening to our instructions. It was just like Wow, really? I just wonder why some people can't just grow up and let go of the past and not act like five year olds. Ohhh well. Anyway, I recently posted my American Girl Doll items on Craigslist and I had a guy come look at some things Thursday evening. He bought three things for $52! I was excited. I think Craigslist is a really good idea and a great alternative to eBay. Sure, it's a little annoying having to meet with the people, but you avoid fees and it's less of a hassle in my opinion. So hopefully the rest of the items will sell too! Mom and I also ventured out to TJ Maxx and Marshall's, but to no avail.

Anddd that brings me to yesterday. Amy and I took the day off for a road trip to Erie, PA for the Camp Lambec Music Camp concert. We started off a little after ten and headed up to Westminster for our first stop. Because it was the day before NWMC (http://nwmcmission.org/content/2009NWMC.aspx), delegates were already arriving. Low and behold, we saw Nolan and also Ginny Dawson. It was so great to catch up with Nolan. We also went in the TUB and I was so surprised to see that the "TV room" was changed into a new little coffee/cafe type room! That should be cool. Amy and I also tried to find the tower in Old Main haha, but that was an epic fail. Hahaha. Anyway, it was really great to be back and I felt really ready to be there all the time, on my own again. ONE MONTH till I go back! We left WC and headed to the outlets where we visited Derek at the Fudgery! It was so nice to see him and we witnessed a little bit of the Fudge jingles that he has to sing. After a little bit of shopping, we left for the Meadville Crackerbarrel (Lambec tradition). Due to construction, we got a little messed up and had to back track (hahaha) but we made it eventually! It was like 3pm and we hadn't eaten lunch yet so we were starving! It was a prime time to go and we were there for literally twenty minutes or so. Awesome. And then we were on our way to Erie! The plan was to go to the beach at Presque Isle. We did make it there, but it was pouring and cold. Figures. Hahaha but as luck would have it, Renee was one beach down from us and we met up! Ahhhh sooo great to see her! We went to her house and talked a bunch and went in her hot tub in the rain. It was so much fun. I miss that girl...wow. Then we were off for our last little leg of the trip to Camp Lambec! Due to the weather, the concert was moved to Springfield Elementary, so we weren't able to see the actual camp :( That was sad. But we arrived and managed to get really good seats.

The concert was really great. The band portion was how it always is...both blah and amazing at the same time. When you really consider the multitude of fourth graders playing in the same band as counselors that have been playing forever...it's truly incredible. I am really proud of Kristen and the work that she has done taking over for Ted. The styles of music they played were great choices too. But as always, band takes the back seat at music camp. The real fun begins with the choir. The music this year was really fantastic, even if it wasn't as musically challenging. Seeing Karen and Megan and the counselors up there...wow. It was really really hard. I started to get tears in my eyes during every song and it took everything not to cry. I was so surprised. I didn't realize how much I missed it until then. I didn't think it would affect me that much. It's so hard not having that in my life anymore. I realized how much I missed God's presence in my life so strongly, how much I've distanced myself from Him. I also realized how badly I want to be in a choir like that again. Hearing the harmonies and seeing the faces of all the kids really into what they were singing...I just wanted to stand up there with them. I knew the words to two of the songs and sang them in my seat...and I just felt like I needed to be up there on stage. It was definitely tough and it took me by surprise. But I was so happy to see Karen and Megan performing for the last time. After the concert, we were able to catch up with our favorite campers and counselors, which was awesome. It felt different this time, in a very good way. I felt like I could actually TALK to them. In the past, I've felt maybe intimidated or just not as close to them as I'd like to be to strike up a lot of conversation, but it was really nice this time. Amy, Karen, Leila, and I definitely got our creeper picture with Joel, of course! I am so proud of Karen for teaching the little cabin 6 girls about 1,2,3- Stare at Joel! It was just kind of a glimpse at how much I've grown and yet how much I loved about who I was even before college started because I had this camp. I just hope that other people have the same experience I did with music camp. I will never forget it. After the concert, Amy and I took the journey home, beat from the whole week!

And now I am just relaxing today. I woke up and my back is absolutely killing me. I have no idea how or when, but I must have pulled a muscle because it really hurts. Oh well. I will live. I don't know what the rest of the weekend will bring, but I am looking forward to just hanging around. Whew, what a week.

Westminster Nostalgia

It is starting to hit me that there are quite a few things that will be different once I return to Westminster next month: Alyssa, Milt, Megan, Kristen, Renee, Rose, some of my KD ladies and other friends will be in LONDON studying abroad and therefore, unless they come to visit, I won't see them until spring :( :( :( And I don't know how to do this whole college thing without my favorite seniors, especially Darnelle. I just can't do it. Sorry, but you have to return your diplomas and come back. This is non-negotiable.

Anyway, as I've mentioned previously, I have been thinking about Westminster a lot and missing school tons. I am incredibly excited for this coming year. I am so anxious for school to start, but I also keep telling myself that I don't want to wish away these college years...so I suppose that includes summers too. Regardless, I can't help but start calculating how many days until I go back (37 days, in case you were wondering). I am so ready for band camp and knowing everyone and meeting freshmen and clarinet awesomeness and mandatory fun...soooo fantastic. And I am just ready to start fresh. I want to be a good friend, really fun and happy and just open to meeting new people and spending more time with different people. I also want to work really hard academically. I think I need to challenge myself more and maybe take on some new things. I'm just really looking forward to it all. Ahhh, SO MUCH FUN. I don't care if there is nothing to do in New Wilmington. It's so much better being bored on a college campus than being bored in Hampton. I am also pumped to take road trips to different friends' colleges. That will be lots of fun :)

Anyway, I am up too late hahaha even if tomorrow is Saturday. Good night!

So

Is it sad that I watch the Bachelorette and that I look forward to it every Monday night? And that it is probably the most exciting thing I do for most of this week? So pathetic hahahahaha.

Wow

I can't believe I've had this blog for over a year now and I have been doing such a poor job at keeping it up! I am happy to say that I haven't given up on this website, as I have with xanga and all of those other silly sites...but I wish I would write more. Alas, that is my thoughts every time I sit down and start blogging, so I'll just move on.

This has been a really interesting summer.

Though there are a million and one words that could describe this break, I can definitely agree on the word "interesting." It's been boring, very boring in fact, fun, sad, exciting, eventful, non-eventful, monotonous, enlightening, confusing, scary, wonderful, amazing, blah, pretty much everything under the sun. I guess I'm not used to this kind of summer. At least I was prepared for it and this time, I don't consider my summer a disappointment. Instead I just think of it as that's how it is. The first summer after starting college isn't the same fun and games as the past summers have been. No more mission trips, no more Lambec (so sad...). All of the constants of summer are taken away and replaced by one goal: making as much money as possible. And then making fun during the few breaks/weekends available. I'm not going on vacation this summer and I don't have a random work schedule. Now I have a steady 40 hour work week Monday through Friday and not much else planned. Am I making the most of my summer? Not really. I guess I appear like I'm not doing anything else and that's not true. I've gone to three grad parties, seen Legally Blonde the Musical, gone to a Pirate game, and I see Aaron pretty much every weekend if possible. But I am kind of in this weird funk where I don't really mind that I spend a lot of time relaxing at home and I don't really feel like seeing people. Is that weird? I loveeee talking to people all the time, that won't ever change. But I don't know...I guess combining tiredness with not wanting to spend money and there being nothing exciting to do in Hampton doesn't leave me with much enthusiasm to do anything. Luckily I finally got paid so I can do more things, but what exactly? I feel like I probably should stop wasting my life by sitting around, but at the same time, I think it's nice to have a break.

As for my job, I lucked out this summer. The last time I wrote, I was worried because my job wouldn't start for an entire month, leaving me with an empty wallet and a LOT of time. Fortunately, I was told about Hampton's need for a substitute paraprofessional so I applied and soon found myself called into work. I worked for four hours at Poff one day and then had a steady two week job at Central. I was mostly a clerical aid, making copies and signs and doing projects for teachers, but I also did the bus room in the morning and watched the kids at recess. It was definitely a valuable learning experience. I got to see things from the paraprofessional point of view at a school and how teachers interact with them and with each other. I am pretty sure I was the youngest person they've ever hired for that kind of thing, so I'm proud and I hope that I was able to bring more credibility to people my age. I think I worked really hard and I received some positive feedback. I think it's really important to put your name out there and establish yourself as a good person and worker, especially in schools where it's really competitive to get a job. I would love to work at Hampton some day or schools like it, so I hope this will help me in some fashion.

Once school ended, my official job for the summer began. I work at Summer Playcamp in the community. I used to go there as a kid, actually. It's for children whose parents work during the summer. The kids come to the community center for organized games in the gym, crafts, free time, snack, and lunch, and then we take them to the pool for the afternoon and end at the pavilion and playground. I absolutely love the job. I have always enjoyed working with kids, but this has been a very wonderful experience. Almost all of the kids are a joy to work with and I really love spending time with them. I won't lie and say it has been all fun and games though! It has certainly been exhausting and stressful. I get very frustrated at some children or situations, as to be expected. But over all, I really really like it. I think all of my working experiences have been really helpful and valuable, especially this one. I am also happy with the staff. We get along fairly well and we even have a Biggest Loser competition going on, which is fun. I definitely won't win that, but it's a good idea.

What an awesome fourth of July! I can't believe that a year ago I started this blog while I was at the beach in Cape May and I wrote about my disappointment over the rainy fourth and somewhat missing the celebrations at home. This year, Hampton decided to hold its activities only on July 3rd to cut costs. I did not have to work on Friday (!!) so I had a really great day off, shopping and relaxing. In in act of sheer boredom, Amy and I decided we would attend the fireworks at the park. I arrived early and walked around by myself and then with Megan and her friends for awhile, realizing how out of place I felt. Amy arrived and we both walked around, trying to avoid people we didn't want to see, and thinking how lame the whole thing was. The fireworks were nothing exciting. It was just like wow, how different this was a few years ago when going to the park for the 4th was a big deal. Not that I'm complaining that things are different now because I'm glad, but it was just weird. And spending a long time in traffic afterwards (even after leaving early) just emphasized that it wasn't really worth it. Luckily I had Amy with me! The fourth, however, was a blastttttttttttt. I drove up to Camp Bucoco to see Aaron and we spent the whole day together. We went to Westminster for a picnic. That was really strange. I have been really nostalgic recently about school, so being on the empty campus was a crazy feeling. I had a blast and I can't wait to go back. Then we went to the outlets for a bit, back to camp for an extremely short swim, out to dinner at The Brewery in Slippery Rock and then to Harrisville for a fair/fireworks. I had so much fun. It was definitely the best day of the summer and one of my favorite days of all time.

I have barely taken any pictures this summer and that makes me sad :( I want to change that. Things to look forward to for the rest of month:

Harry Potter 6 comes out July 15th

Hopefully getting July 17th off to go to the Lambec concert

Birthdays! Amy's and Mine :) (which I haven't even like thought about at all...)

Okay that's a short list. I need to fill it up more! Gahhhhhhh. I need a life.

Roomie love.

xalipabsx: i went in, and they were like "ohhh we're not hiring for just summer, we need long term"
lilburdeezy: no one can work long term at BUILD A BEAR! they wouldnt apply there if they could!
lilburdeezy: kappa delta should go to build a bear
xalipabsx: haha omg!!! i should have put that on my resume!! be like... "look... i am tight wit da bair! aight?!"
lilburdeezy: damn you so would've been hired

Here goes...

Well, I'm sitting in Panera at like 8:30 AM on a Monday morning, basically kicked out of the house because of the cleaning lady. So I have a few hours to waste time on my laptop (nothing new there) and do Sudoku and read. I figured this would be the best opportunity to finally blog a reflection about the past year as well as about this past week. There is just such a huge expanse of events and feelings and thoughts to cover that it's very overwhelming. I'm not quite sure how to begin or how much to include or if I can even complete such a long task. But I am determined to try and capture what this past year has meant to me because it's changed my life forever. It's a little difficult considering I'm not able to look back at specific journal dates that talk about things that I did and faced since there was never enough time to really write...I shall try my best though!

I was a different person back in August 2008. Different, yet the same. I don't know. I had an interesting summer, busy with work, grad parties, vacation, camp, and the mission trip to New Orleans. I think that trip in itself was a big wake-up call that something was about to change. The whole trip didn't seem right in some odd way, but it ended up being an amazing experience. I wish I could go back now, the person I am today, and see how things would go. Very rarely in life do we realize how good something is until it is gone. As I stated in my long post about that trip, I learned a lot about myself. I realized how clingy and needy I was, how vulnerable I could make myself, how I was ready for bigger and better things. High school was an amazing experience and I loved so much of it, but I think I always knew I was waiting for something more. I was tired of the little things that brought me down. I knew I would have the comfort of my close friends and family to keep me grounded all at the same time. On that New Orleans trip, the reality of Amy leaving shortly after shook us all up. It became very real. Our strong group of friends was going to be separated into different cities (and even different states) and that was scary. Not too much longer after that, I was bound for New Wilmington, PA for band camp. The day before I left, I remember having to get up for the cleaning lady (like today) and taking a longggg hike at Hartwood by myself with my camera in tow. I knew I was ready. I was nervous and scared, but I had a sense of excitement and anxiousness of the next day's events. I think if I hadn't had band camp to kind of "cushion" me into college, I would have been a lot more petrified, but I wasn't. So, the very next day, I went to school...my home for the next nine months. 

I will be the first to tell you that band camp was the absolute BEST way to start college. Hands down. It was the same way in high school. What better way to meet a huge group of the student body and get acclimated BEFORE college even starts than by marching on a football field in the hot August sun? Every evening was filled with mandatory fun and it was a blast. Most of my friends are banders and I met them during that week. I can't wait for band camp again, this time as band officer and with the knowledge of what REALLY goes on during band camp. By the time Fresh Start rolled around, I was already settled in and comfortable.

Sunny Second South in Galbreath Hall was the most amazing hall to live on. I couldn't have asked for a better freshman dorm experience. Ali and I live so well together and my neighboring ladies will always be friends of mine. I will never forget the good times in the study lounge, Halloween decorating, movies, and good conversations. I remember seeing other halls and getting annoyed by them and laughing because that was never the case in our hall. I can't thank my lovely ladies, my AMAZING RA/twin Kayla, and my roomie enough for such a great experience.

I think the best thing that occurred freshman year was I Eta Pi. The formation of this "forority" created the very best friends I have at school. I honestly don't know how it all happened, but it did. It's changed a bit since the beginning of the year, but for those that have remained, I can't express how much I loveeeee them. I'm not really sure how Ali and I are the only girls in such a group, but that is ok with me :) So many movie nights, Family guy marathons, brunches, dinners and lunches, outings, parties, private jokes, great times... not to mention our total domination at VolleyRock this year! I love each and every member and I am so happy to have them in my life. I look forward to so many more memories next semester!

No year reflection would be complete without a glance at my love life from the past 9 months...In high school I always told myself that it would get better in college, that if I could just wait, I'd see. And well, I suppose that's very true, though in the beginning I didn't think it would be. I got caught up in some really stupid situations and I got hurt first semester, but I learned. I learned that you should always follow your heart. You know that voice inside of you that tells you when something's not right and you KNOW deep down what you should be doing? Yeah, listen to it. Your conscious can help you. Not saying that taking risks and being unpredictable is a bad thing, but if you can tell you're going down the wrong path, then stop yourself. But then again, some things are inevitable and unstoppable and they are, in fact, necessary to go through. I can't say I'm exactly happy that I went through a particular situation and I wish I hadn't, but at the same time, I learned, I grew, and I wouldn't be where I am now if it weren't for it. Throughout it all, though, he remained. My love. Being with Aaron right now makes every heart ache, every pain, every tear completely and utterly worth it. Just this past weekend we celebrated our five month anniversary...I can't believe how fast it all went by and yet at the same time, how short that is! We started off as friends and now we're best friends and together...nothing could be better. For once, I feel completely like myself and truly happy and content. He fits into my life better than I could have ever dreamed. It's like my past finally makes sense...God had a plan for me and for him and we're living it. I don't know what the future will bring, but I am excited and happy. I love him :)

Going away is the easiest way to discover what's important to you at home. Who is really important, what is worth your time, what truly matters. My truest friends revealed themselves. My family and I have grown, even while we were apart. I realize that certain things aren't worth worrying about. I guess it's all a part of growing up. While I always thought I was a pretty mature person growing up, I discovered that I am more so now..that I don't fuss about the same things. I'm not so naive and I am more aware of the world around me. I have a TON more to learn and discover, but it's a comfort to know that I'm growing. 

It's weird to think that in just a few years, relatively speaking, me and my peers will be finding jobs, getting engaged, moving away...it's so strange. I witnessed one (sort of two) engagements at school, which was awesome. People get pinned all the time. It's just like wow I can't believe that people only two or three years older than me are experiencing that. It just seems like all of that, even finding a job and such, is so much farther away than it really is. I don't feel like a college aged kid like I thought I would. It's scary and exciting all at the same time.

Ohh, can't forget greek life. Never in a million years did I imagine that I would join a sorority. Seriously, I would snub greek life just because the media did nothing to help my image of it. It just didn't seem right for me. I just thought it was a group of really pretty girls that drank a lot and were really catty...your stereotypical image. And to be perfectly honest, I really don't think I would join one anywhere but Westminster. On a campus where greek life is over 50% of the student body, it's a litttttttle bit different than say, Penn State. I won't lie and say that it's all happy, yay-sisterhood!!, but it has truly been a wonderful experience so far. The rules (mostly from nationals) about dirty rushing and recruitment and so many little things are ridiculous and during first semester, I was still unsure. I never considered it until I found out so many of my older friends were involved. Though I thought I knew a lot about the different groups by the end of my first semester, I was wrong. I became so much more aware of the campus in general and the various groups of people after I went through the entire process and for that, I am glad. Formal recruitment was absolutely ridiculous. It was really stressful, confusing, exhausting, and conflicting, but fun at the same time. I am so glad I got to meet so many people. And pick up day was really great. Being on that stage, with all of the screaming people and balloons and sweatshirts and flowers and flashing lights and raising that card to say "KD" was so exciting. And then of course being pummeled by my new sisters was awesome. I think every sorority has something great to offer and I like girls in each and every one of them. I am especially proud to be a KD lady and I love my sisters very much. Again, I never thought I would live in the sorority dorm, even after I joined, but alas, Ali and I are living in the KD suite next year. It's crazy! I couldn't be more thankful to be a part of such a classy group of girls and to have experienced so many mixers in addition to formal, greek week, and other special activities. Being involved with the fraternities has been nice too. It's really weird to look at a campus by its greek life, when you really think about it...to classify people by their group, but at least at Westminster, we try to forget those barriers. We're all friends with each other. I will never let a sorority/fraternity get in the way of my friendships and relationships. I'm really excited for the fall with my sisters and to get to experience everything on the other side.

I've been writing for an hour now and I still feel like I have a billion things to say, but not sure what. It's kind of weird how a break from school works. You get used to home so very quickly, it seems. I believe people can adapt to anything, and it's almost shocking how fast it can be sometimes. Right now, I still feel like this is only a short break from school, but at the same time, I am already used to home and staying here for awhile. I went to Westminster for graduation two days ago and it was really strange. I tried my titan card on Galbreath just out of curiosity and it didn't work. It was like a reality check that Hey, I don't live there anymore. In fact, I doubt I will ever live in Galbreath again. So strange. It's sad. But I gotta get used to it!

Well, I think I will talk about this past week because my life has been flipped upside down and right-side up in such a short period of time. Last Tuesday, I got awful news that one of my best friends from middle school, Emili, had died suddenly. I honestly thought it was a joke for a few hours. I shrugged it off, hoping that I was right in denying it. The old group of friends got together at Tori's house and that's when it became real. I was in shock. How could someone so bright and talented, someone so sure of herself, someone with the world at her feet die? Emili lost her mother just months ago to cancer, but it seemed as though her life was going well. I hadn't talked to her in some time, but I never stopped thinking about her from time to time. We never had a falling out or a fight...we just lost touch. We still cared about each other. I feel sick that I couldn't go to her mom's funeral and show her I was there for her. All week, I kept thinking of random memories of her...things I hadn't thought about in so long: Junior high youth group, random St. Mary's dances, Good Charlotte concert, eating enchiladas that her dad made, her obsession with those nasty taquitos or whatever those things are called, her basement, her tire swing in her back yard, going to fashion shows with her mom at St. Barnabas, her amazing room and all of her beautiful clothes, her eye for fashion, sitting next to her in band, her laugh, how she could totally beat you up if she wanted to, fighting with Jani, calling a boy on her car phone in the driveway, sleepovers, long yearbook entries, dances, and so much more...She was a great friend. We always knew she'd grow up and do something great, like become a doctor or a lawyer. I had no doubt that she'd do it too. I wish I could have talked to her again, just to see how she was doing. The last time I saw her was when she was working at J.C. Penney's, maybe two years ago. I am going to miss her very much. Thanks for being a part of my life, Emili. 

Getting together with the old group of friends was strange. It was nice to catch up with them again and I hope to keep in better contact with them. But at the same time, it really showed me how much has changed and how different we all are. Losing them was such a difficult time for me, back in around 10th grade, but seeing them all again together made everything that happened make a lot more sense. I'm not sorry that it all ended, just thankful that it did happen. So many of my memories revolve around my time with them. I just hope that we can all stay in touch, just like I wish I was able to more with Emili. Her death has reminded me that the people I meet in this life all have something to offer me, they are all important and I should never take anyone for granted. Life can be so short and it's crucial that it should be LIVED. Emili always did what she wanted. She never feared anything. I envy that kind of feeling. I hope that I can always strive for my dreams and live life and experience new things. 

I have about 20 minutes before I can go home and I am thankful that I had this time to write and reflect. I really need to do this more often. It's time for me to start doing things now that I've had the chance to relax (well sort of) at home for a week. I don't start work for a month...which is so frustrating...but I hope I can do some useful things with the time I do have. Perhaps I should make a list. I love lists. I want to read more books, sell some things on Craigslist, what else? I need some ideas. 

I also realized, yet again, how dismal it is that there is nothing to do without money around here, except watch movies and take walks. Which is fine and dandy, but after awhile, it gets old. I will have to be creative!

Alright, time to go waste time checking the same lame websites over and over before I can go home. There, I did it. :)

Is it really almost over?

I am in a really reflective mood right now as I am by myself in my dorm room, packing up my stuff and listening to some calming music. As I look around at my blank walls and boxes and bags piling up, I'm starting to realize that I'm not going to live here in two and a half more days. Ever. I'm leaving school for a long summer. I'm not sure I'm ready to post my "end of the school year reflection" just yet but I wanted to write something.

What a great semester. What an amazing year. I can't find a place to even start without having to write for hours. So many changes, so many new experiences, new people, new problems, new memories. I can truly say at this very moment in time, I am so very happy and content. I don't know what tomorrow will be like and I know it hasn't been this wonderful in the past either...but at this very moment, I am happy. Happy to be living, happy to be breathing, happy to be in love. God has blessed me in a multitude of ways, some of which I am sure I have not even noticed yet. 

I'm not ready for this semester to be over. I am certainly grateful that classes ended today and my work load is diminishing greatly. Only three "finals" left...of which one is a test and presentation, one is a "skit," and the other is in-class essays. So I'm pretty happy with how finals week has turned out. But despite that, I don't really know how to handle this kind of an end to a school year. It's not something I've had practice in, really. In high school, when I graduated, saying goodbye was sad, of course, but those people still live there and will be there this summer...But at college, most of those people don't live near you or if they are seniors...who knows when you'll see them again, if you do. I can't bear the idea of saying goodbye to Darnelle, the light of my life...one of my best friends. But I think the only comfort I can gain from this is knowing that our friendship means more and that we WILL see each other again and we will remain friends. Also, work and distance is going to make seeing my friends difficult...and this time it's not just five weeks...it's four months. Summer starts in May, not June. It's just really strange and I'm not sure how to handle it. 

It's kind of disappointing because the weather is finally starting to get really nice and there's so much to do on campus on a beautiful day. I love walking around the lake with Aaron and just getting away. Even though it's right on campus, when you get to that other side...it's like you're in your own world, escaping reality. Today I went canoeing for the first time on the lake. It was a blast. When I'm home, who am I going to experience the weather with when the kiddies are still at school and there's work to be done?

Anyway, like I said, my "end of the year reflection" will come soon enough, but I'm not quite ready for that. I feel like it's like every time I've attempted to write this entire year. There's too much to say. I don't know how to put it all into words. But hopefully I'll be able to do that.

Here's to the best year of my life.

Can we just slow down a bit? kthanks.

After this week, my spring semester will already be halfway over.

What the heck????????

Seriously, where did the time go? I feel like every week we are saying to each other "Just wait until it slows down and then we can do this" or "We are still settling in, things will calm down soon enough..." Guess what? They haven't. 

Being thrust into chaos the day I got back to Westminster has been absolutely crazy. It has not slowed down once since. Formal recruitment every night of the first week, then sorority pick up (KAPPA DELTAAAAAA) and classes, and Seussical rehearsals, and then guys pick up and everything just has been a whirlwind. I can't even believe it. So much has been packed into seven weeks. And it's MARCH? Wtf, mate!

It has been such a great semester though so far. Though I would really like it to slow down just a bit, I am really enjoying everything. First, and foremost, I absolutely love getting to see Aaron every single day. He makes every exhausting day so much better, every stressful thought disappear, and every worry or sad feeling into a happy one. We've only been dating for about two and a half months, but I feel like it's been so much longer. He is my everything and I am so proud and honored to be his girlfriend. :) :) :)

Second, Kappa Delta has been such a crazy experience for me. I am really glad I decided to go greek, even though I never ever thought I would. If I were on any other campus, I would not pledge, but I am 100% confident that Greek life at Westminster is unique and wonderful. It was really overwhelming at first because suddenly you had 86 sisters and you didn't know all of them and you were bombarded with everything. It was and still is nuts, but the things I've gained from it--sisterhood, care bears, new friends, new family (mommy!), good times, memories--have been so great and I can't wait to be initiated and see what the next three years bring. Ali and I (even though we didn't want to until the very last minute) are living in the KD suite in Ferg next year, so we're excited! And now our boys are in their little fraternities too, Theta Chi and Phi Tau! yayyy I Eta Pi gone greek...again.

Seussical has been interesting to say the least. Being a bird girl has been my DREAM role since I saw PR's last year. I am so excited to be one. Chapel drama, however, is frustrating because everyone is soooo busy and can't make rehearsals and nothing gets accomplished. But I know, well...I hope anyway, that everything will pull together during tech week. It'll be really laid back, but it's been fun and I'm glad I'm still involved in theater (singing/dancing).

My classes have been going pretty well, just more work than last semester. I'm taking dance as much phys ed and I love it. It comes at a tiring part of the day, but it's been really great at making me exercise and I have really missed dancing. I'm really glad I got to dance, even though I didn't make dance theater. Also, for my Foundations of Education class, I've been doing practicum (observations/tutoring) at New Wilmington Elementary school and I really really enjoy it. I've been working with a fourth grade classroom for two days a week for about 45 minutes each and they are really sweet and fun to work with. It's really reassuring that I really like being in the classroom, but the true test will be when I'm with middle and high schoolers, considering I'm a secondary ed minor.

One thing I really wanted to blog about around Valentine's Day was something I learned about at Seekers. Gary Chapman wrote this book about the "Five Love Languages" and I found it soooo fascinating. There are five languages, or ways that people express and receive love, and they are all of equal importance. The languages include: words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. Each person is unique and may express one language and receive the same or another and the other person might be the opposite or something else. Take this quiz to find out your love language: http://www.afo.net/hftw-lovetest.asp

Mine is mostly physical touch, followed by quality time and words of affirmation, then gifts and acts of service. 

I got totally off track so I'm just going to end this post for now...Lame, I know, but more later. :)

Home to Home?

Today I'm leaving my little Hampton Bubble to go an hour north to the Westminster Bubble after five weeks of Christmas break. Now that I've been in school for five months now, it's not uncommon for me to refer to my dorm as my "home." There's this one bumper sticker on facebook (and I can't believe I'm actually using it as a source) that says, "You leave your family to come to college and then you leave your family to go home" and it's true. While my house in Hampton will ALWAYS be my home, I've got a second place full of a million family members.

In hind sight, it seems as though break didn't occur at all. We all expected five weeks to go by agonizingly slow. Or that we'd do sooo many things and get so much done. I know I had the assumption that five weeks meant spending time with the Physics Brigade almost every day and doing everything on the list that Amy and I put together right before break. I guess that was a bit unrealistic, as I soon realized with Christmas and New Years and family and then before we knew it, Amy left for North Carolina and the rest of the brigade went back to high school. Christmas, like usual, came and went so quickly that it always seems like you don't get to relish in the holiday before it slips out of your fingers and you're stuck packing up the ornaments and decoration. It's like you plan for the holiday for so very long and then it's like it never even happened. The week of Christmas was spent visiting and spending time with famiJust the other day marked five months of me being in college, and yet that whole last month I wasn't even on campus!ly, which was simultaneously wonderful and exhausting. Soon after, New Years was on its way. Last time I blogged, I had seventeen days left of break. Now I only have a few hours.

While it all seems like it has passed so very quickly, it also seems as though last semester was simply ages ago. Remember Christmas vespers and making gingerbread houses and finals and even celebrating the New Year? It feels so long ago. It almost makes you want to step back and wonder, "Woah. What just happened to me? Were the past five months a dream? Did all of these changes really occur?" But then it quickly dawns on you that YES, you're about to embark on your second semester of college. How fast things happen. And how easily things change. It's a weird feeling.

I'm going to campus today with such a feeling of excitement. I'm excited for so much about this semester. I have an incredibleeeeeeeeeee boyfriend, an amazing group of friends (both at school and at home), formal recruitment this week, Seussical rehearsals starting up, a Snow ball in a few weeks, and so much more. But with all that excitement brings a bit of anxiety and nervousness. Back in high school, when I anticipated a time of being really busy, I got this feeling of dread because I knew how stressful and tiring it could be. I balanced school with drama club and musical and a million church things and band and friends and family and I often wonder how I even did it. So when I see that even this first week back is going to be so hectic and crazy, I feel that anxiety tugging at me and it's slightly unsettling. I don't want to feel that way again. However, I believe this time it will be different. I've learned from being so busy in high school how to handle it. And I know it won't be as busy as it has been in the past, and that brings me much comfort. At least, I really hope this is the case.

I am leaving home with a bit of sadness too, of course. I didn't get to spend the time with my friends at home like I had hoped. Keeping tabs on each other and investing time in each other's lives is difficult and it takes a lot of effort. Sometimes I forget that...we all do. It's a natural thing. But I want to make that a priority because it is so important to keep these friendships alive and strong. People at home are the rocks of my being, no matter what. I'm also really sad about leaving my family, specifically my mom. This past week, really these past few days, she has finally opened up to me, really getting used to me being home. I felt like for some time there was this distance between us, like I would look at her and though we'd always talk, I'd think that there was a multitude of things left unsaid going through her or my mind. But this past week, I think we finally became that mother/daughter pair that we always were. But unfortunately, now we're going to be separated again. But I have hopes that we'll keep this up throughout the semester.

Well, I am off to finish packing up my things and getting ready. Spring semester, let's make it a good one.

Seventeen More Days

It's the second day of 2009. Weirdddd. It doesn't feel like any sort of dramatic change has occurred....not that it ever really does. But usually I feel a sense of change or a shift or a new attitude, but nope, not this time really. That's okay though. If 2009 is anything like 2008, then I am in luck.

I suppose I should do my annual reflection on the year, as I always do on the New Year. I kind of already did one on facebook, my 2nd annual "picture recap" of the year with some captions. I have been fortunate the past few years to have kept good journals so that I am ABLE to write these reflections and I think I have a good deal of 2008 written down, except for large chunks of time...mostly towards the end of the year. Figures, you know, when those parts of my life are the ones I wish I HAD recorded. But alas, I shall try my best...

It's kind of funny to open my journal from this past year, considering I made it (well, decopaged it) when I was sitting in "the Spot" at Westminster College on my 17th birthday. I remember specifically saying "I would never go here," using the showers as my justification, never really sure why I felt that way. I think I was so set upon being a Grove City girl that I didn't want to consider it. Funny how things worked out.

But anyway, I started the year off at Jill's house with a group of my friends, hanging around, playing karaoke revolution, apples to apples, watching the ball drop, and being loud and obnoxious at midnight. Always a good time. I think it was becoming a little evident to us, however, that things were changing among the friends. It was senior year, after all, and we were all realizing that we were ready for a change...and while it was hard to accept not being so close to everyone, we all had a common understanding between us that it was O.K. and that we'd still be there for each other if needed.

During the next couple of months, I had a lot of fun with my friends, specifically the Physics Brigade (the name of which didn't come about until July of '08). We went to see a ridiculous version of Sweeney Todd at the Benedum, reenacted said movie at one of the 5th quarters, cooked dinner at my house, etc etc. I also went swing dancing for the first time and it was absolutely AMAZING. It was the perfect way to revive my spirits and get me excited for my future because it was with different people and it had me talking to strangers (not in a creepy way) and trying something totally new.

As I was somewhat saying earlier, I was going through this uncertain situation about college up until late March. I had applied to 7 schools...and had heard from all except for Grove City by this point. It was down to Westminster and GCC, pending on acceptance from there. I knew I should visit GCC before the letter came, just to be sure, but for some reason, I never "felt" like making the trip there and I never wanted to sit in on a class or make the extra effort and email someone. The day I got my rejection letter (well, deferral), it became very clear to me that there were so many times that I was pointing towards Westminster. The fact that I applied on the very last day for the Young Presbyterians Scholarship on a whim. That I went and visited on a day when the school was having a two hour delay and my mom somehow actually took the journey even though she normally wouldn't. That people around me were saying they had a feeling that I was going to go there. And most importantly, that I felt comfortable on campus because I had been there before for NWMC. God was annoyed with me since I hadn't picked up on these things and finally gave me the rejection so that I could say yes already! Haha! And thank Him for that!

Anyway, so the spring mostly involved musical. Ah..musical. I've talked about this a million times, so I'll just briefly cover it. Into the Woods was amazing. I can't deny that. It was also a really tough learning experience. I had to learn to accept not getting what I wanted. But I also realized the importance of appreciating what you do have and making the very best of it. I am so thankful I had Megan and Karen because they made the experience that much better. Musical was a hugeee HUGE part of my high school career. It gave me confidence in myself. I learned that I love to perform--to sing and dance and even act a little. Good times.

Wind ensemble had a very busy year as well. I was glad I finally became a part of wind ensemble my senior year. I lucked out, getting the chance to go to PMEA State Conference, even though it was the previous year's band that won us the spot. Rehearsals were intense and it was a lot of work. We did two adjudications, as well. Finally, we went to Hershey for the conference. It was like a mini-band trip. It didn't really hit us how important and how much of an honor it was until we got there. I am so proud to have been a part of that and to have experienced such a wonderful performance. Definitely the highlight of my "clarinet career."Hahaaaa.

Prom was fun. I went with Craig again and I had the honor of going to his as well! We had fun :)

Oh, the band trip to Indianapolis= sweet. It was a very chill trip, unlike previous trips, but that was nice. I wish we had done a little bit more, since we traveled all that way and we were there and all, but it was still cool. I think it's big flaw was going to lunch one day and then the very next thing on the agenda was to go to Buca de Bepo for our "nice dinner" that we couldn't even eat since we were so full from lunch. Anyway, I've never been a fan of car racing. I always thought it was so dumb. But being there, in the heart of it all, was amazingggggg. It was SO loud and I have never seen so many people in one place. It was awesome. I was pissed we didn't get to watch the very very end, even after we sat there lap after lap for hours. It is kind of funny that it's still entertaining even if it's the same thing over and over, mostly because of the crashes (that all occurred in front of us) and the random fire and HELIO CASTRONOVES. Oh, and seeing Sabrina Bryan and Drew Lachey was a highlight :)

Anddd finally, I graduated! We were all so ready. The last day of senior year was awesome. And on the hottest day quite possibly ever, we finally received our diplomas. You know what the sad thing is, and I'm really admitting my dorkiness here, one thing I'll always remember is walking onto the field to Pomp and Circumstance and being out of step. I couldn't do a hop/skip thing like in band to get back on my left and it just annoyed me the whole way to my seat. HAHAHA what a loser. I'll also never forget that my tassel dropped somewhere after the ceremony (even though I specifically took it off my hat before I threw it) and I was sooo upset and angry that I couldn't enjoy it until my mom stole one off of someone's hat on the ground. hahaha...oh boy. I'm too sentimental for my own good.

Summer involved quiteeee a few things. First, my graduation party which went well. It was somewhat of a reunion of sorts, when Matt and Chris Penco, my old neighbors and first best friends (and Chris is also my first husband) came after not seeing them for like four or five years or so. That was cool. Later on in June, I went on vacation with my family and the Dreese's to Cape May, NJ. It was a greatttt trip and it was there that I started this blog.

Soon after was my last year at Camp Lambec. It was the best year of camp I've ever had. I cannot thank my cabin 8 ladies enough for making it the most memorable and wonderful week. I will always love and cherish the friendships and memories from camp. My summers won't be same without it...my LIFE won't be the same.

On my 18th birthday, I went on a mission trip to New Orleans. As explained in a previous entry, it turned out to be the most amazing and the most awkward trip ever. I didn't realize how awesome it was until I got home, unfortunately. But the awkwardness was evident from the first hours in that van. Hahahaha. Not quite the best birthday I had hoped for (coughFRISBEEcough) but oh well. I can't complain because I was with my best friends. The trip truly helped to make me realize the help that NOLA needs, even now. The hurricane didn't ever affect me, really, not more than just a thought, but now it has real meaning in my heart. I would love to go back and work again.

When I wasn't busy doing all these crazy things, I was working at the good ol' Hampton Pool. I enjoyed it for the most part...it was great to actually interact and talk to people during work, as opposed to Kumon when it was silent most of the time. It's a pretty good gig.

I finally left for band camp at Westminster in mid-August. It proved to be one of the best experiences of my entire life. It was definitely the best decision I have ever made. If I had to give anyone one piece of advice when going into college, it would be to do band or join something right away so that you meet people and you gain friends before school even starts. Most of my closest friends are in band and I loveeeeeee it. When Ali, my amazing roommate, arrived a week later, it was so great to introduce her to people and Fresh Start was more comfortable than if I had arrived with the rest of the freshmen. The orientation week was crazy, but it ended with the absolute most amazing dance of my life: the Reggae dance. So amazing.

Since then, life has kind of been one big whirlwind. I Eta Pi came into play early in the semester and I was soon finding my place at WC. I love it so much and I love the fact that I still have my constants back at home to keep me grounded.

Some of the highlights from the first semester include: the Gateway Clipper Cruise, the BEST Pirates game of my lifeee, band festivals with Darnelle, Halloween (or rather halloqwwn), ELECTION DAY, clarinet bonding, Family Guy, Rochester visit, and Christmas with I Eta Pi.

Break has been going well so far. Christmas was nice, but somewhat tiring with all the visiting and traveling. It always goes by so fast, it's rather a shame. I rang in the New Year at Aaron's house which was wonderful :)

And nowwww I'm ready to go back to school and really start living 2009! I absolutely cannot wait to see what this semester brings! :) :)