Home to Home?

Today I'm leaving my little Hampton Bubble to go an hour north to the Westminster Bubble after five weeks of Christmas break. Now that I've been in school for five months now, it's not uncommon for me to refer to my dorm as my "home." There's this one bumper sticker on facebook (and I can't believe I'm actually using it as a source) that says, "You leave your family to come to college and then you leave your family to go home" and it's true. While my house in Hampton will ALWAYS be my home, I've got a second place full of a million family members.

In hind sight, it seems as though break didn't occur at all. We all expected five weeks to go by agonizingly slow. Or that we'd do sooo many things and get so much done. I know I had the assumption that five weeks meant spending time with the Physics Brigade almost every day and doing everything on the list that Amy and I put together right before break. I guess that was a bit unrealistic, as I soon realized with Christmas and New Years and family and then before we knew it, Amy left for North Carolina and the rest of the brigade went back to high school. Christmas, like usual, came and went so quickly that it always seems like you don't get to relish in the holiday before it slips out of your fingers and you're stuck packing up the ornaments and decoration. It's like you plan for the holiday for so very long and then it's like it never even happened. The week of Christmas was spent visiting and spending time with famiJust the other day marked five months of me being in college, and yet that whole last month I wasn't even on campus!ly, which was simultaneously wonderful and exhausting. Soon after, New Years was on its way. Last time I blogged, I had seventeen days left of break. Now I only have a few hours.

While it all seems like it has passed so very quickly, it also seems as though last semester was simply ages ago. Remember Christmas vespers and making gingerbread houses and finals and even celebrating the New Year? It feels so long ago. It almost makes you want to step back and wonder, "Woah. What just happened to me? Were the past five months a dream? Did all of these changes really occur?" But then it quickly dawns on you that YES, you're about to embark on your second semester of college. How fast things happen. And how easily things change. It's a weird feeling.

I'm going to campus today with such a feeling of excitement. I'm excited for so much about this semester. I have an incredibleeeeeeeeeee boyfriend, an amazing group of friends (both at school and at home), formal recruitment this week, Seussical rehearsals starting up, a Snow ball in a few weeks, and so much more. But with all that excitement brings a bit of anxiety and nervousness. Back in high school, when I anticipated a time of being really busy, I got this feeling of dread because I knew how stressful and tiring it could be. I balanced school with drama club and musical and a million church things and band and friends and family and I often wonder how I even did it. So when I see that even this first week back is going to be so hectic and crazy, I feel that anxiety tugging at me and it's slightly unsettling. I don't want to feel that way again. However, I believe this time it will be different. I've learned from being so busy in high school how to handle it. And I know it won't be as busy as it has been in the past, and that brings me much comfort. At least, I really hope this is the case.

I am leaving home with a bit of sadness too, of course. I didn't get to spend the time with my friends at home like I had hoped. Keeping tabs on each other and investing time in each other's lives is difficult and it takes a lot of effort. Sometimes I forget that...we all do. It's a natural thing. But I want to make that a priority because it is so important to keep these friendships alive and strong. People at home are the rocks of my being, no matter what. I'm also really sad about leaving my family, specifically my mom. This past week, really these past few days, she has finally opened up to me, really getting used to me being home. I felt like for some time there was this distance between us, like I would look at her and though we'd always talk, I'd think that there was a multitude of things left unsaid going through her or my mind. But this past week, I think we finally became that mother/daughter pair that we always were. But unfortunately, now we're going to be separated again. But I have hopes that we'll keep this up throughout the semester.

Well, I am off to finish packing up my things and getting ready. Spring semester, let's make it a good one.