Two thousand and.....nine?

I don't know if it's just me, but the thought of saying it's "2009" is just strange. I'm pretty sure it's because how much hype 2008 had, especially in my life and those my age. 2008 was a BIGGGG year for me. Looking back at my journal from last year (and I always write something on January 1st), I wrote about how this was the year that I had been "waiting" for, the year I would graduate high school and start a new chapter of my life in college. So many things happened. Crazy musical drama, college decisions, prom, graduation, working at the pool, Cape May, my last year at Camp Lambec, the mission trip to New Orleans, and finally going off to Westminster, where, as predicted, my life has changed drastically. It's kind of like...now "my year" is coming to a close. The year I could totally count on being a good one, or at least a life-altering one, is almost over.
What lies ahead is now both entirely exciting and also scary. It's totally exciting in that I KNOW my spring semester at school is going to be so amazing. How do I know, you might ask? Well, let's see. I have an amazing group of friends, an insanely incredible boyfriend, and a new schedule. I could possibly be joining a sorority. The weather will...eventually...be actual spring. I'm a bird girl in Seussical for Chapel drama. :) Sunshineeee..what could be better?
But it's also scary. Maybe scary isn't the right word. This year has a touch of uncertainty to it. On the way home from my grandparent's house this Christmas, my mom said firmly that that would probably be our last Christmas in Gallitzin. And you know what, I think she might be right. I hate turning this into a depressing post, but the reality is, my grandparents might be here next Christmas. Or if they are, or one of them anyway, I don't think they'll be in that house anymore. (And they shouldn't be now, but we won't get into that) The strangest thing about that is that it's kind of like I've been anticipating (and not happily) that time to come for a few years now. Every New Years I have this feeling in my stomach, wondering, is it going to be this year? So when it does come, I can just imagine the kind of release it will have on the shoulders of my family. If you know my family's situation, you know how much time and stress and worry and everything all of my aunt's and uncle's have been through. I don't want to call it a relief. I don't know what it is. But that's just something that is accompanying what is mostly an exciting plung into the new year.
It's also scary in that what summer will be like. I know that it's only been two weeks of Christmas break and I want to go back to school so badly. I don't know how I'm supposed to go three months without seeing everyone all the time. Luckily, I'm sure to be working (RIGHT, economy?) so that will be motivation to get money for school.
Have you ever been driving in your car and you get REALLY thoughtful, especially when you're listening to the right kind of music? Today, I was driving home from the mall and listening to the new Chris Tomlin cd. I was peering in the rearview mirror at a really long stop light and looking at the people behind me in their car (creeper, I know) and I saw these two Asian women, I'm assuming mother and daughter. And they weren't talking, wrapped up in their thoughts and looking out of their windows. And I wondered what their lives were like. What their relationship was like. And then I thought about the whole concept of cars and how we sit in these things and go places, but how often do we stop and think about the individual IN that car? Maybe their drive today gave them the chance to get away from what's going on in their life. Or maybe it's not getting them where they need to be quite fast enough to solve what needs to be fixed. Or maybe they're traveling to a new place to start a new time in their life. I don't know. It's weird to think about it that way. Or just that every single person in general has a story. They all have something going on in their lives, even if they don't show it. People watching can be so fascinating. Authors sometimes say that's how they get ideas for characters. They watch others and imagine what could be going on with them at home, at the office, with their spouses or children. I don't know. Most likely, you're reading this and thinking, "Okay Marissa, get some more sleep and change your music next time." :)
This is the first year in probably the past 4 or 5 years or so that I won't be celebrating New Years Eve with a big group of my friends. The one farthest back that I can remember was at Tori's house back in 8th grade? Or maybe 9th. Yeah, I think 9th. We all wore sparkly black outfits and somehow Tracy won the contest, even though all she wore was some silver tinsel as a scarf with a black shirt and jeans Hahaa. But it was a good time. I don't know how we managed to keep ourselves entertained in Tori's room the whole time, but we took pictures and had a good time. And then I recall New Years at Brittany's house with the ladies, which included hot tubbing and games. And then Jill hosted two parties at her house, which were both really fun. And this year, it's kind of like a strange situation with everyone back from their separate colleges. Not everyone's kept in touch, people aren't sure who to spend the night with. But this year, I'm spending the night with Aaron and I am soooo excited. I can't wait.
I need to get back into the blogging spirit. Or at least the writing spirit. I hate when I get so busy that I don't write and then I want to write but there's just too much to say. Shannon and I were talking about that the other day...about wanting to write, but having too much to write so you give up all together. But sometimes you just got to pick up, start wherever you are in life, and continue. Yes, you may lose that time in between, but it's worth it if you start writing again, instead of continuing to put it off. Gotta love the writer in you...it causes you to ramble about nonsense, just like I am now! Woo!
I think my problem is that I get distracted whilst I am blogging and end up losing track and just start talking about the stupidest things. And then I stop. Like I am now. So.....kthanksbye! *Anime peace girl* hahahaha ohh man I need a life.